RIP MCA

You’ve rocked my face.

I remember taking one and a half ambien last night when I got home from the bar with the intention of taking a shower, smoking a bowl in bed, then having some kinky ambien sex with my fiance.  I just woke up with terrible heartburn, reach for the water on my bedside table, spilled a small glass of something and found out my elbow is very sore.

According to my fiance, we never had sex.  We never smoked weed.  I never made it to the shower.  My elbow is sore because I fell down.  I asked if I was naked when it happened.  Thankfully, she said I was.  That only makes it better.

Now I’m up and waiting for the Mylanta to kick in.  I notice a half empty quart of moonshine on the counter that I must have gotten into last night.  That begins to explain a few things.  My flip camera (that I must have gotten out of my car, maybe while naked) is also on the counter. However, I already checked.  Nothing on it.  Hmmmm.  So much for ambien sex.

Woke up at 3:30am to go duck hunting.  Then, hung out at camp with friends for a couple of hours and drank whiskey.  Came home, took a shower, popped a couple of ambien and am now drinking a big winter ale and trying to stay awake, just for fun.  

I feel like I’m still standing on a boat.  My equilibrium is bad.  This is fun.  I wonder how long before I faceplant somewhere in the house and wake up a couple hours later with the dogs licking my head.  

I came home from work so hungry, but I felt it was too early to eat dinner, so I snacked.  Now, I don’t feel hungry enough to eat the awesome food I was going to cook.  Damn.

RIP.  Just read that she passed yesterday.  She was pretty awesome.  Terrible accident, but no better way to go out than doing something you love.

If anyone is looking for ideas for writing their Representatives about SOPA and PIPA, here’s what I sent this morning.  Feel free to use as a whole or to cherry-pick.

Cheers,

RZF

I am writing today to express my concern with the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect IP Act.

Our world is a technology driven, constantly changing place.  The economic impact of the internet has been vast and continues to grow and define our economic marketplace.  I believe that stifling this over copyright issues is short sighted.  I do not condone online piracy.  And, although the opportunities to steal are plentiful, I choose not to.  There are already laws in place to encourage prosecution of individuals who pirate copywritten materials, just as there are laws in place to punish those who steal hard goods from stores.  We do not bar the doors of convenience stores to prevent shoplifting, nor should we limit the online marketplace to stop those who do not follow the rules.  Instead, we need to focus on prosecuting those who cannot or will not abide by existing laws. 

To the enterprising artists whose work is being stolen, I do have sympathy and urge them to explore other ways to make their art economically viable in a changing market place with new mediums.  With the rise of the internet and ability to record music, movies and other information, I know many artists have found new ways to present their craft while remaining profitable and increasing their audience.  As technology changes, so does our world.  We need to embrace these changes and not stifle them.  

I think there are some people who only drive to do their Christmas shopping.

A guy told me the other day that I should never buy my wife anything for Christmas that has to be plugged in.  I get where he’s coming from.  

But, obviously he’s never bought his wife a Hitachi Magic Wand.

On Tuesday, I celebrated my 3 year anniversary with my fiancée.  Last night, we were having fairly standard sex before bed, but she started doing something different with her hips, just a little different rolling motion.  She got really worked up, and I got so worked up I had to suppress my orgasm so she could finish.  No way was I going to deny her an orgasm considering the look on her face and the sounds she was making.

So, I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m so happy and reassured today that, even after three years, there’s still lots to learn and find out about your partner!

Life is good!

Check out this pretty interesting article on the rising popularity of hetero anal sex and the idea that the situation leads to more orgasms when partnered with other sex acts.

http://www.slate.com/id/2269951/

The Ass Man Cometh

Experimentation, orgasms, and the rise of anal sex.

By William SaletanPosted Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2010, at 7:58 AM ET

New study reveals what goes on behind Americans’ bedroom doorsA new national sex survey is out. Published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, it reveals who’s doing what, with whom, and how. It clarifies the prevalence of gay sex, teenage intercourse, and oral gratification. But the big story is the increase in anal sex reported by women—and its possible connection to female orgasms.

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Let’s start with the foreplay: a few other trends worth noting.

1. What teens are doing. By ages 14-15, 10 percent of boys say they’ve had vaginal sex. By ages 16-17, the number is up to 30 percent. By ages 18-19, it’s above 60 percent. For girls, the trajectory is almost identical. Oral sex follows a similar trend. At ages 14-15, 9 percent of boys say they’ve performed cunnilingus. By ages 16-17, 20 percent say they’ve done it, and by ages 18-19, 61 percent say they’ve done it. Among girls aged 14-15, the number who say they’ve given a boy oral sex is 13 percent. By ages 16-17, it’s 29 percent. By ages 18-19, it’s 61 percent. If you’re turning 20 and you haven’t gone down on somebody, you’re in the minority.

2. Oral ubiquity. It’s funny to look back at the previous national survey, taken in 1992. In that report, the authors marveled at the mainstreaming of oral sex. Now the whole question of its normality seems silly. By ages 25-29, eight of every nine women have performed fellatio, and half have done it in the past month. For men and cunnilingus, the numbers are only slightly lower. More people think the president is a Muslim than adhere to oral chastity.

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3. Reciprocity. Women are getting as good as they’re giving. By ages 25-29, 88 percent say they’ve received oral sex from a man, and 72 percent say they’ve received it in the last year. (Men confirm this: 86 percent say they’ve given it, 74 percent in the last year.) That’s pretty close to the 91 percent of men aged 25-29 who say they’ve received oral sex from a woman and the 77 percent who say they’ve received it in the past year.

4. Homosexuality. Apparently, a lot of people try gay sex, but only about half stick with it. By ages 18-19, 10 percent of men say they’ve performed fellatio. That number drops among men in their 20s and 30s. But among men in their 40s and 50s, 13 percent say they’ve done it, and 14 percent to 15 percent say they’ve received it from another man. Meanwhile, 11 percent of men aged 20-24 say they’ve received anal sex. For unknown reasons, that number declines in the next higher age bracket but then steadily rises in succeeding brackets, leveling off at 9 percent among men in their 40s and 50s.

Remember, these are “have you ever” questions. When men aged 20-59 are asked whether they’ve performed fellatio in the past year, the number is more like 6 percent. And only 4 percent say they’ve received anal sex in that time. But that’s a big jump from 1992, when only 2 percent of men admitted to sex with a man in the preceding year.

For women, the gap between trying gay sex and sticking with it is greater. From ages 20 to 49, the number who say they’ve performed cunnilingus ranges from 10 percent to 14 percent, but the number who say they’ve done it in the last year is more like a quarter of that.

5. Anal sex. Here’s the big story. In 1992, 16 percent of women aged 18-24 said they’d tried anal sex. Now 20 percent of women aged 18-19 say they’ve done it, and by ages 20-24, the number is 40 percent. In 1992, the highest percentage of women in any age group who admitted to anal sex was 33. In 2002, it was 35. Now it’s 46.

The last time I looked at the anal sex data, I figured that most women who reported having done it meant they’d tried it just once. I was wrong. If you push these women beyond the “have you ever” question, the numbers stay surprisingly high, and they’re getting higher. In 1992, the percentage of women in their 20s and 30s who said they’d had anal sex in the past year was around 10 percent. Now that number has doubled to more than 20 percent, and one-third of these women say they’ve done it in the last month. Among all women surveyed, the number who reported anal sex in their most recent sexual encounter was 3 percent to 4 percent.

That’s a lot of butt sex. And remember, this is what women are reporting. If anything, they’re probably understating the truth.

So what’s with all the buggery? Is it brutality? Coercion? A porn-inspired male fantasy at women’s expense?

Apparently not. Check out the orgasm data. Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus.

No way, you say.

Way. Read the data. Table 5, Pages 357-8.

What could explain this? Taboo thrill? Clitoral migration? Some new kind of vegetable oil?

Here’s my guess. Look carefully at Table 4, Pages 355-6. Only 6 percent of women who had anal sex in their last encounter did so in isolation. Eighty-six percent also had vaginal sex. Seventy-two percent also received oral sex. Thirty-one percent also had partnered masturbation. And the more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride.

So why did the inclusion of anal sex bump the orgasm figure up to 94 percent? It didn’t. The causality runs the other way. Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners’ wishes. It wasn’t the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex.

If anal sex is a trailing indicator of women’s sexual satisfaction, then by all means, let’s toast the new findings. Here’s to you, ladies. Bottoms up.

I have a very small mouth.  I’m also, literally, tongue-tied.  I can only stick it out about a half inch.  It has never given me any problems or affected my speech, which is why it was never fixed when I was young.  However, it does cause slight problems when giving oral to a lady.  But, the nice thing, I think, is that when I do spend some time licking my fiancee’s pussy and eating ass, my tongue is quite sore for a day or two after.  And, every time I think about it being sore, I think about exactly why it is sore and am extremely satisfied with myself.  

Sunday night, we went to bed early after a fairly exhausting day.  We had both showered.  And, I made her get in doggy position so I could eat some ass.  Finally, she flipped over, spread, and began using her magic wand up top while I took care of everything toward the bottom with my short little tongue.  After she was sufficiently taken care of, I got on my knees and hovered above her, finishing myself manually with her help.  I filled her mouth, and like the wonderful partner that she is, she then shared it with me.  I went to bed with my thick beard matted with both our cum, and filled with our co-mingled scent. 

My tongue has been sore for two days and I love it.  :satisfied: 

You may not like my taste in music, but I don’t force you to listen to it.  Having to hear your choice of cheesy music when I call your phone does not make me want to do business with you.